I’ve finally texted him. It’s not easy. I’m not going to lie. Life is tough. Meeting up this Tuesday. No one’s at fault here. Well, there’s things in life we do wrong. But it just so happens. I don’t want to do that finger-pointing that everyone else does. It’s gay. It’s not solving the problem. It’s just sweeping problems under the rug. No matter how you bury them, they will still be there. Because of that existence that you first once encountered.

I used to think that some things said are just pointless. But I guess, today, it does matter. It does help. It does make one grow. Maybe me bottling up all this emotional junk, just doesn’t work anymore. The kettle can’t contain anymore. Water is over-slipping. I need to pour some out. Life is a long journey; and for me to continue walking, I need to do something for myself. I have been keeping in stuff, well for people until I just went crazy during this period. It’s not an excuse. I know that. It just so happens that those people were just lucky. Or rather if I were to put it in context with religion, which most of them are (religious), God’s just using me to test you guys. Sounds so damn cliche. Well, whatever.

Now, I just doing things for me.

Well, me writing and facing whatever shit that has happened over the semester means that I have recognised the problem and am facing it. Most of my close friends know that I’m a person who runs and hides from issues and problems. I guess I must have grown. Nah. Still a kid in many ways.

So ya. Got to text Darren and tell him that I’m returning his textbook. Should I ask to speak to him? Maybe I should.

Zelda: Heyy, thanks for the text. I’m returning it to you.
Darren:  Oh.
Z: Ermm I know I should have asked. But I highlighted some text on your book. My bad. Sorry.
D: No big deal.Don’t worry about it.
~Sudden silence.~

Z: Crazy semester.
D: Huh?
Z: Nevermind. Ermm. There’s something that I was meaning to ask you. Well, for a very long time. But I kinda put it off till after the exams. Well, I don’t know if you have any clue that I and Melissa had this debate thing some time ago.
D: Yup.
Z: So. Either way some one must have told you. Ok. So within that debate, she mentioned about you telling her stuff I told you.
~Awkward Silence.~
Z: I just need to know some stuff. That’s all. Well, as hard for me to admit this. Like her, there are things that I need to know or do before my heart is at ease. I realised that I am the bad guy here. But in some way. Nevermind. I just need to know. That’s all. It seems there’s no point in me explaining myself anymore.
D: ………………..
Z: Ok. Thanks. Bye.

This is just a fabricated dialogue that I came up with. As you can see the dots, it is meant for him to tell the truth. I don’t want to just simply add in what I hope for. It just seems wrong to do so. Ironic, doesn’t it seem. You guys think should I even ask about the feelings part? I know most of you will say yes to that. But seriously I’m a chicken. I guess I’ll just have to bury that part.

Tomorrow’s exams. The beginning. And I can’t sleep and can’t study. Shit. Been watching loads of Happy Tree Friends. Hehehe. Sadistically funny can.